Many friends of mine are well aware of Oklahoma people and their way of friendship.  I love the way people from that part of the country make you feel.  Knowing quick friendships are near impossible for me, I am researching ways to make real friends.  An article I recently read suggested to make a list of three qualities that you  would value in a friend.  Here are my three:

  1.  Fun and funny.  I love a good sense of humor.
  2.  Patient.  They will need a lot of patience when communicating with me.
  3.  Love the outdoors.  I feel so calm and myself while in nature.

The article then asked you to list what three qualities YOU bring to the friendship. I find this part most challenging.  I am humbled to think of how little I am offering in the way of friendship.  I will still try:

  1.  I can be funny or so I am told.
  2. I am knowledgble of many languages and book knowledge.  I can be handy when playing trivia games.
  3. Kind.  I am kind in my words and with my affections.

I can see these things I bring to the table are frequently interests of my own.  I see now that what I want, must be similar to what I am offering in return.   I am working to make my list more substantial.

My mom once had my Dad and I write down three things we wanted from each other and were not getting.  Then after we had compiled our list, she proceeded to instruct us to give those very things we wrote to the other person.  You can imagine my surprise when I then had to find honor, respect, and patience on my list of things to express to my Dad.  It did seem to help with our view of one another considering our list were almost identical.

I am humbled when I reflect on the friends I have on this blog.  I expected so much less and I am grateful.  Friendships are much like your favorite foods.  You love them,  knowing they will always satisfy you and always look forward to seeing them appear again. But variety is always a pleasure.  I once was on an eight day rotation diet and although I missed some of my favorite foods, it forced me to try others, which I surprisingly found satisfying and healthy.  Maybe we should all try a rotation friendship diet.  See how many new different friends we can make and see if we do not enjoy this variety of personalities.  It may make us appreciate our “pasta and pesto” friends a little more while we get to try a little borscht.

Link “How To Make Real Friends”





8 thoughts on “HOW TO MAKE REAL FRIENDS”

  1. Isaac. As always, I am humbled by your post. Your ability to express your thoughts and feelings is something I ENVY. I am aware that envy is not something to be encouraged. However, I must try to emulate your insight to try to improve. I am NOT finished yet!!!!!!! I will share one thing: On a recent flight a had a young woman with an emotional support dog. I am always kind to people on my flights, but because of you I was able to empathize with her need to have her dog near.

    I would love to visit you and spend time with you. I miss you. Love


  2. Isaac, loved your comments on making real friends. We all need friends who bring positive energy into our lives. Papa & I have talked about you having a good sense of humor! I know you love Nature, which we will see a lot of in May, so really, patience is something we all have to work on. Over all, we think you are doing great!!! Love you, Grandma


  3. I really appreciate your thought about a “rotation diet” with friends. Widening out is something I am working on in my relationships.
    Thank you.


  4. Isaac, I love reading your blogs! They always give me something to look forward to and I am always left at a loss for words. You really have so much to offer as a friend, especially because you are always a means of encouragement for me. Thank you so much for setting the amazing example of how we all should widen out in our friendships. You are truly an inspiration and an example of a genuine friend. 🙂


  5. Wow I love this blog. You are so encouraging and such a sweet person. I love being your friend even though we are a little far away. You are such an amazing writer and I truly enjoy your articles. Keep up the great work!


  6. Isaac,
    Once again you have given me something to explore. The friendships of ‘Pasta & Pesto and a little borscht’. Love this analogy. I also think we could all learn from knowing three things we are not getting from our closest of friends. It’s quite a healthy exercise and leaves room to expand and deepen those relationships. You are one of the most inspiring friends I know! Thank you for giving us so much of you.


  7. I can tell by the way your eyes gleam that you have a good sense of humor. I would like to take the first few years in paradise to just catch up on all of your musings. Hope that’s ok with you, Isaac.


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